It's our anniversary!

Well, our ONE MONTH anniversary.

Here's a scan of the inside of a post card a friend of mine received, commemorating him and his significant other's one month anniversary.

Isn't that special? Isn't that crazy?

I invite you to bask in the glow of month-old love.

Rough translation:
"Today it's our beautiful one month anniversary. Can you believe this? Right? Well, I can't. I never thought that we would overcome the obstacles that at one time or another got in our way. This is why today is so special and means so much to me. I have been truly happy at your side. You are... wonderful... incredible... etc. etc. But I continue to be a jealous person. Oh dear! I've screwed it up, huh? In any case, I LOVE YOU more than I am capable of showing you. Your always..."


Okay... I'd start worrying about bunny-boiling, Fatal Attraction-esque moments with this one.

Another shopping list

I apologize for the delay in posting new stuff here - it's been a crazy couple of weeks.

Anywhoo... I went to do some early morning shopping the other day and, plastered at the bottom of my shopping basket, was this other person's shopping list. How cool.

Like me, this shopper's goal was a matter of getting the important stuff, and getting out of the supermarket pronto!

Rough translation of the list:

• Seasoning - ham, chicken, beef [I assume the Knorr flavor cubes]
• Bread
• Toilet paper [Can you ever have enough of this?]
• Rice and beans [Puerto Rico, baby!!!]
• Milk
• Cheese

Bon appetite!

Mother/Daughter Communication

Here's a note from way back, 1966.
It was written by a woman to her recently born daughter, who was the first of what would be a clan of four siblings. This note is of particular importance because, though it may seem like something any mother would write to their child, I am sure the sentiment is unique for her. A first-time mother is bathed in emotion and pours well wishes for their offspring, especially the first.

A rough translation:
"You are N., a beautiful flower, and the perfume of your essence I would like to have. You are beautiful, sweet, You are my darling flower, The Lord takes care of you and He guides your every step in the future, Never forget your mother, who loves you more than anything else in the world, Mom"

Smells like a rip-off to me

I had to share this.
This is an ad placed in the classified section of my local paper.
Before I get into an analysis, here's a rough translation:
"I was deep in debt and didn't know what to do, so I wrote to this dear man, and he wrote me back: 'within 35 days all of your problems will be solved.' And it was so. The two numbers he gave me were winners [in the lottery, I presume]. If you have problems that you can't handle, write him and don't forget to send $2."

OK, so this is an obvious scam. But what gets me is the photo of this supposed miracle man. He looks like a convict from the 1970s. Plus, if he's so clairvoyant, why does he place a cheap ad in a cheap newspaper? Because the people who read this trash are usually suckers. Also, the paper is in Puerto Rico, and he's in the Bronx, a hotbed of Puerto Rican superstition. Oh man, this is so cheesy, I feel like sending him the money just to see what happens.

Classroom confidential

Girls will be girls...
Here's a note passed in class many many years ago.
Thanks to BR for sharing.
I won't even attempt an analysis, since the message is pretty self explanatory.

Homophobic Kids

Kids will be kids. Here is a bit of graffiti forever marked on the cement bleachers of my local basketball court that displays a classic symptom of homophobic preadolescence. However, the auteur of this piece is confused himself.

The message reads: "This is Bryan. Bryan is a duck" (in Puerto Rican Spanish, duck is derogatory slang for gay).
However, the drawing is of a rabbit.

Perhaps this kid is more into chicks with dicks?

Death in the family

Dealing with the passing of a loved one can be a traumatic experience. But... what if that loved one is a GUINEA PIG!?!? How emotional can one get over the passing of a rodent? I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder, or in this case, in the eye of the owner. The human bond between humans and pets in unquestionable.

Here's a note someone received after her dear Guinea Pig passed away. She bawled her eyes out for over a month, and her dear friends provided their words of console with this message.

Excuses excuses

A college professor received this note from an undergrad student upon turning in her very late paper.
This note, though short, sends many messages at all once: a lame apology; acceptance of defeat; a desire (hope!) to be forgiven.
I can just imagine the puppy eyes when she wrote this.
I can accept this from an 8th grader, but a college freshman? Puh-lease!

Men are so cheap

Special thanks to F. for sharing this little gem.
It’s a note he sent to his mom on Mother’s Day when he was roughly ten years old, circa 1984. Like a typical cheap male, it’s clear to see that he’s trying to bring on the charm and swarm his way out of having to commit to giving gifts or any other superficial sign of appreciation. Who cares that a ten year-old has no money? This is worse than using the old “It’s the idea that counts” line.

And what’s up with the apologizing for the watch bit? According to F., he had lost his mom’s priceless watch the week before. How slick to sneak in a half-assed apology for Mother’s Day.

Sisters and BFFs

Sisters will be sisters.
Here's a note a young woman left to her significantly younger sister the morning she set off on an extended vacation overseas. Because the little one was fast asleep, she left the note on her pillow. Aww...

Rough translation:
"I love you very much.
I am going to miss you dearly.
Be on your best behavior with mom and dad.
I promise to call you every day.
I love you very much.
Your sister"

He's just not that in to you...

This note, found in someone's old high school yearbook, is a classic display of women taking things to a whole new level, especially in relationship matters. Of course, it's not fair to judge seventh graders and their love troubles, but its hilarious to see how even at an early age, relationships are complicated.

What fascinates me about this note is how polite the dear girl is about her ordeal. She's excusing herself for the imposition, for being "rude"... heck, she's even willing to step aside if there's someone else stealing her man's attention.

Oh, women...

A random act of graffiti

If graffiti is wrong, I don't want to be right.
He is a little something I saw scribbled on the concrete bleachers at my local basketball court, where all the "bad" kids hang out, smoking pot and talking about all of the girls they wish they could bang.
An interesting item, and not bad at all.

Money defaced in the name of our Lord

Ok, now that the Holiday season is over, I'm back to posting on a more regular basis, so let's get right into it.

According to authorities, defacing money is a federal crime. But what if you write a message to God on the bill, clearly stating that He is to benefit from your generous donation? Is it still a crime?

Here is a snapshot I took of a $20.00 bill I got from the bank recently, which most probably made its way from someone's pocket, to the Church, and - of course - to the bank.

The message reads, roughly translated, as follows: "A tithe for our Lord"

I sure hope my faithful friend got what he paid for.

A New Year

I'm sure you've all had it up to here with all the New Year's cacophony of wishes, resolutions, and what-nots. But, I must share this great find: A good friend and her best guy rang in the New Year in NYC and this is her short message to him, written in lipstick on the mirror in their hotel room. How sweet! What a cool way to wake up on the first day of the year.

Rough translation:
"Thanks for giving me my first kiss of the New Year"

Awww....